Don't you hate it when you get yourself in situations that you just can't mentally process? It doesn't help that when you do come across something that you absolutely were not expecting let alone looking for and then when things don't go the way anticipated your even more screwed up then before. Fun Fun....not.
You live you learn right? I'm really hating that saying....along with, "It is what it is". Life can just suck it at this point. I hate the ups and downs and I never really get anywhere for the in between. I did though learn a lot about myself in the past two months. Things to do...not do. So at least there was learning involved. I just wished first impressions and incidences out of my control weren't on the table to be considered to throw away my value, but I can't really do anything about that can I?
As usual, I have a plan. Always looking to the future is what my focus should be. I just need to become accustom to not having things go my way and if they don't not shut down like I've been doing lately. I have a business plan for my financial future, an education plan that will push me to my own personal great expectations, and a fantastic family that I would be lost without. I just have to accept all that and be thankful for it. Plain and simple. Its just so hard to know that there is something fantastic out there, that got so screwed up, a reflection of my true self misinterpreted by craziness, and my heart is broken.
I thought blogging it all out would help...but it didn't. Maybe because it has to be cryptic....but yet again, if I said all the details it wouldn't change anything anyways.
You live you learn right? I'm really hating that saying....along with, "It is what it is". Life can just suck it at this point. I hate the ups and downs and I never really get anywhere for the in between. I did though learn a lot about myself in the past two months. Things to do...not do. So at least there was learning involved. I just wished first impressions and incidences out of my control weren't on the table to be considered to throw away my value, but I can't really do anything about that can I?
As usual, I have a plan. Always looking to the future is what my focus should be. I just need to become accustom to not having things go my way and if they don't not shut down like I've been doing lately. I have a business plan for my financial future, an education plan that will push me to my own personal great expectations, and a fantastic family that I would be lost without. I just have to accept all that and be thankful for it. Plain and simple. Its just so hard to know that there is something fantastic out there, that got so screwed up, a reflection of my true self misinterpreted by craziness, and my heart is broken.
I thought blogging it all out would help...but it didn't. Maybe because it has to be cryptic....but yet again, if I said all the details it wouldn't change anything anyways.
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