Untitled Love

Untitled Love

The words are easily said
There is so much more to it
than just saying it.
It has to come from your heart.
Its often misused.
Sometimes often taken for granted.
Love is not an object
to be thrown around.
It should be cherished within your heart.

Updater

Okay yes its been awhile.......but its better now to update then never. The run down is basic.

Summer has now come and gone and I get to have a pretty much empty house again. Listening to only the sounds of the school buses in the morning to take my kids from me has been the best thing to listen to. Its like elevator music....except you won't fall asleep to it. It just brings joy that your starting your day with any destination you want......without the extra little beings following you around begging for attention 24/7.

I will say though, I love the smell school supplies! I know that may sound weird, but hey it smells fabulous. The fresh pack of crayons and the smell of a sharpened pencil can pretty much be up at the level of chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven. :)

I'm still on the mad hunt for a job or another internship. I need something....... that is for sure. Yes the extra money would be great but it really isn't needed. I need to be around people. I don't want to become the socially awkward person because the only conversation I've had lately has been with the mail man. Which by the way he keeps being on the phone whenever he comes by house now. I wonder if he's faking so he doesn't have to make small talk with me......lol.

The husband and I are doing great, the kids of course are doing good....my extra little mini me though has been a button pusher lately. Who knew that a two year was the new 20 year old? She is handful and keeps testing the limits, but it is a lot less stressing to be dealing with cleaning up vanilla pudding all over the couch versus realizing the fact that my baby is now 2 and no longer a baby. You would think being a mother to five kids I would have bypassed the thought of ever having more kids, but when that's pretty much all you have been in the past 10 years is being pregnant, then surgically incapable of having any more babies can be a tear jerker.........so enough about all that.

Well that has pretty much been it.

Just another day.....

I know I'm not the only one when saying this....but what the heck is up with all this damn snow here lately? Its cold, its just blah, and I swear I almost forget what the sun is like! My dog Tucker though is enjoying it. He's enjoying it too much. Sometimes I think my neighbors might think that I"m abusing him or something for leaving him out during the day but deep down they are just idiots. My dog is a Siberian Husky for crying out loud! He just loves the snow.

Well enough about all that. There really hasn't been too much going on, except the fact that I went from this person that barely ate anything to recently addicted to eating all the time. It doesn't help that nothing sounds good anymore and let alone that its Friday and I can't eat meat. Ugh...oh the joys of Lent and stress.

I will mention though that my husband and I are doing good. Working on things with a few squabbles here and there but better than expected. We were going to have a date night tonight but we are both sick and the kids are hacking up stuff as well. Go figure. Finally had arrangements for a date night and everything backfired.

You live.....You learn.

When I first started writing this blog, I was filled with a conflict. I was lying to myself and others for many years on how I really felt about my life and my relationships that I have had. More specifically I was putting up a perfectly painted picture for all to see in the outside world that I was happy.....but deep down I wasn't.

Over the past couple days my life has been on a whirlwind. I had to face consequences for actions that pretty much almost destroyed my relationship with my husband. I've been lucky enough to say that we are both fighting to find our hearts again with one another.

I'm sure you have heard the phrase that you don't realize how important something or someone is to you until its gone. This truly applies with me. I always knew that I wanted to share a different life with my husband but I didn't know how to get it. Who knew that actually telling someone something could make that change. I know that now though.

I have taken responsibilities for my actions. I have learned that when we make choices to do things in our life, its usually blinding to see how what we chose to do will affect others around us. I used to be a matriarch of telling others on what they are doing with their lives is wrong and the ability to tell them what to do to fix it but yet I'm the one deep down needs fixing.

Oldie but a goodie

I was cleaning my office and came across a book that I was published in. Here is my contribution:

Shadows hide between the darkness and light.
A small tainted object creeps through this.
Uncontrollable thoughts emerge out of my mind.

I'm struck with pain that emits throughout my body.
Then there is fear.
I'm not afraid of the fear,
I'm afraid of the tainted object
creeping out of the shadows towards me
It grasps me tightly with no sign
of the thought of letting go.
Now I know I'll never be free.

Copyright 1999

Blurb....

Disgust
By: Monica


You hide behind nothing
your fooling no one.
How long will you let this portray you?

You live your life
you pretend to love.....
A heart should beat for more than just one.

Selfishness will make you alone
and respect will never be earned.


Copyright 2009