I been getting a lot of feedback on how that all I write is about negative things and that I rarely have anything nice to say for the good stuff that has happened in my life. I can't help that I get so wrapped up in the the highlights that I can't always share them with you all. Plus, usually when I blog its about me venting. I just need to get those damn thoughts out of my head so when I go back to it for reflection I can depict on how crazy I really am or at least figure out what to do next. Blogging is for me....its just an added benefit that I actually have people enjoy some of the shit that I say.
So I guess I will give a run down on what makes me happy right now so I can no longer be yelled at for not saying something positive.
First: My kids. My five amazing kids. Its so hard to believe sometimes that I have five but we all mold together. My oldest daughter is my rock...my little mini me. She helps me so much to maintain some sort of order with the kids. I love coming home and have them run to me with hugs and kisses and willing say that they miss me. Paisley is the one that just grabs my leg an doesn't let go until I pick her up or just tickle her free. The enjoyment of being a mother will always be the number one thing in my book. Days are hard sometimes but at the end of the day, they are all pieces of me and full of my heart and soul.
My backbone anymore is my father. The one person that I struggled to connect with growing up has been the biggest help in my life. Ya I still have some annoyances with the lectures and how I should handle things but realistically he would do anything and everything for me and the kids and he proves that on a daily basis. I enjoy just talking to him about anything and I value his words of wisdom.
My grandmother...aka "Busha" (Czech/Polish word for grandmother) is one of my most favorite people in the world. She may have just been a housewife that raised 5 kids....but her strength is something I long for. She is strong in her Catholic faith and has always pushed me when things got rough to just believe and pray because when those moments when I need the strength the most, she is the one at 88 years old picking me up and reminding me of my heart and strength.
Another person in my life that has been making a difference is my boss. Stasia and I may have only known each other since January, but we have connected. She kinda acts like a mother figure to me and we help each other out. She pushes me to thrive in my field and is always a 100 percent supportive on what I'm trying to do. She allows me to fully embrace my career and constantly encourages for me to be happy with every decision that I make. She makes me coming into work feel like that its my safe place to be. I don't have to worry about anything when I'm there and with her and I in control, we will run the show.
I also made a new friend a couple months ago. Whether he sees it or not, I value the friendship we have. He has encourage my goals and decisions and actually helped me deal with some of the struggles I've been having. Our personalities are somewhat alike so I know when I ask a question I will get a realistic straight forward response. I need that. I need someone that will stop telling me what I want to hear just to try to make me feel better....I need that slap of reality so I can stop being distracted at the fork of the road. My future isn't stuck in a box anymore and he helped me see that and I will always be thankful to him for it.
My sister of course will always be there for me. We irritate the shit out of each other but deep down our love is strong. I've disappointed her lately, and it truly hurts that I did. One day I hope she will understand where I was coming from and that she could look past my faults. Her son is the most amazing little guy ever. He lights up my heart and I miss being able to be the Aunt that I want to be because they live so far away. I'm lucky enough to be in a field on where I will be able to travel and see both my sister and nephew a little more frequently then before. I'm forever grateful to Shawn, my sister's husband for allowing me to come down and surprise her. It was so important for me to be there for my sister and I'm counting down until when I can come back.
Few other things that have been making me happy is more trival then anything else. My iPad is awesome and I don't know how I was able to function without it. I'm becoming obsessed with the latest and greatest electronics. I love high heel shoes...spa visits and my daily naps in the tanning bed. I love the pictures my kids make me when they see I'm having a bad day an all they want to do is make me smile. I love that my friends will listen to me rant and vent whenever I need them to. I LOVE alcohol and how it makes me numb for a bit to all the stupid drama in my life. And last but not least....my elliptical. I love working out and and its changed me not only on the outside...but the inside too. Getting fit has been making my evil knee not hate me as much as it used to anymore. I'm hoping that by the end of summer I won't need all the therapy and meds that I have to take in order to get out of bed.
That's about it for now. I'm hoping to add more to that list, but only time and decisions and patience and a hell of a lot of therapy will tell. I know what I want for my future so I'm going to go work on it and get it.
So I guess I will give a run down on what makes me happy right now so I can no longer be yelled at for not saying something positive.
First: My kids. My five amazing kids. Its so hard to believe sometimes that I have five but we all mold together. My oldest daughter is my rock...my little mini me. She helps me so much to maintain some sort of order with the kids. I love coming home and have them run to me with hugs and kisses and willing say that they miss me. Paisley is the one that just grabs my leg an doesn't let go until I pick her up or just tickle her free. The enjoyment of being a mother will always be the number one thing in my book. Days are hard sometimes but at the end of the day, they are all pieces of me and full of my heart and soul.
My backbone anymore is my father. The one person that I struggled to connect with growing up has been the biggest help in my life. Ya I still have some annoyances with the lectures and how I should handle things but realistically he would do anything and everything for me and the kids and he proves that on a daily basis. I enjoy just talking to him about anything and I value his words of wisdom.
My grandmother...aka "Busha" (Czech/Polish word for grandmother) is one of my most favorite people in the world. She may have just been a housewife that raised 5 kids....but her strength is something I long for. She is strong in her Catholic faith and has always pushed me when things got rough to just believe and pray because when those moments when I need the strength the most, she is the one at 88 years old picking me up and reminding me of my heart and strength.
Another person in my life that has been making a difference is my boss. Stasia and I may have only known each other since January, but we have connected. She kinda acts like a mother figure to me and we help each other out. She pushes me to thrive in my field and is always a 100 percent supportive on what I'm trying to do. She allows me to fully embrace my career and constantly encourages for me to be happy with every decision that I make. She makes me coming into work feel like that its my safe place to be. I don't have to worry about anything when I'm there and with her and I in control, we will run the show.
I also made a new friend a couple months ago. Whether he sees it or not, I value the friendship we have. He has encourage my goals and decisions and actually helped me deal with some of the struggles I've been having. Our personalities are somewhat alike so I know when I ask a question I will get a realistic straight forward response. I need that. I need someone that will stop telling me what I want to hear just to try to make me feel better....I need that slap of reality so I can stop being distracted at the fork of the road. My future isn't stuck in a box anymore and he helped me see that and I will always be thankful to him for it.
My sister of course will always be there for me. We irritate the shit out of each other but deep down our love is strong. I've disappointed her lately, and it truly hurts that I did. One day I hope she will understand where I was coming from and that she could look past my faults. Her son is the most amazing little guy ever. He lights up my heart and I miss being able to be the Aunt that I want to be because they live so far away. I'm lucky enough to be in a field on where I will be able to travel and see both my sister and nephew a little more frequently then before. I'm forever grateful to Shawn, my sister's husband for allowing me to come down and surprise her. It was so important for me to be there for my sister and I'm counting down until when I can come back.
Few other things that have been making me happy is more trival then anything else. My iPad is awesome and I don't know how I was able to function without it. I'm becoming obsessed with the latest and greatest electronics. I love high heel shoes...spa visits and my daily naps in the tanning bed. I love the pictures my kids make me when they see I'm having a bad day an all they want to do is make me smile. I love that my friends will listen to me rant and vent whenever I need them to. I LOVE alcohol and how it makes me numb for a bit to all the stupid drama in my life. And last but not least....my elliptical. I love working out and and its changed me not only on the outside...but the inside too. Getting fit has been making my evil knee not hate me as much as it used to anymore. I'm hoping that by the end of summer I won't need all the therapy and meds that I have to take in order to get out of bed.
That's about it for now. I'm hoping to add more to that list, but only time and decisions and patience and a hell of a lot of therapy will tell. I know what I want for my future so I'm going to go work on it and get it.
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