Birding the year 2009

So here we are at the end of another year. Any triumphs? Any regrets? Of course....and we are deepened with thoughts of changes probably at this point now. I'm no different.

For the longest time, I myself have been trapped in this unhappy place in my head and in my heart. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, my family and anyone that chooses to make me smile for the day :) , but there was just too many times this year that I remember sitting back and wondering why I put myself through some of the things. I guess it should be expected since I usually question everything anymore and over think situations....but really there are so many things that I will be changing. I've already started on it as a matter of fact! I've reconnected with old friends and reminiscence about many moments I wish I could relive...just letting someone in that doesn't judge me or expect a copay has been nice! :)

I'm not going to make a resolution....I plan on just going with the flow of things. It is said that we are responsible for our own happiness as much as our failures. I plan on not holding back and going full force on things. I will still protect my kids and doing what is best for them....but I will no longer push myself aside. My needs are just as important. If mama ain't happy....well then thats one grumpy mama!

I'm actually sitting here listening to Cage the Elephant...the song Back Against the Wall.....funny how a song can depict your life at that moment. Here's a little piece:

Tonight I'll have a look
And try to find my face again
Buried beneath this house
My spirit screams and dies again

Oh ya...Happy New Year people!